Returning to India

Well, after months of planning, waiting and preparing, I am finally here--Mysore, India.  My brain doesn't even really seem to comprehend it yet, possibly due to sleep deprivation (so please excuse any mis-spellings or grammatical errors, lol).  I kind of feel like a zombie right now.  Is anyone curious to see what Tara looks like after 30+ hours of travel on about 7 hours of interrupted sleep?  Yes?  I thought you might, let me show you ;-)

Zombie Tara

I snapped this lovely self-portrait shortly after I arrived at the place where I am temporarily staying until I can move into my own place on February 6.  After so many hours of travel, I felt so far beyond the point of exhaustion that I wanted a picture of what that looked like.  Air travel does such weird things to the body--my digestion feels wimpy and my eyes and my face tend to feel puffy.  And my mind cannot really seem to focus on anything.  I brought books thinking I would read during all those hours on the planes, but I never did, my eyes felt too tired and the brain sluggish or panicky, so I watched movies instead and occasionally got a couple of hours of sleep here and there.  It's interesting, the flight from the United States to my connection in Europe (Frankfurt) was much harder to sit with than the flight from Europe to India, even though it was longer.  I noticed the same thing during my first trip to India in 2012: my legs muscles feel achy and restless and the mind tends to flutter in and out of tiny states of panic over being in an seated and closed in space for so many hours.  But the other flight?  I am much more relaxed and the long hours pass by easier.  I think it might be because during that first half the mind and body are still in their normal time zone--but by the time I get off the plane in Europe, my mind and body are so confused with the difference in time that I really feel like I lose a sense of where I'm at, so it's a little easier for everything to relax.  But, for some reason, sleep still does not happen for too long, and sleep deprivation kicks in and I end up looking like that picture above, lol.

At some point though, during that second flight, I remember looking at the flight map and saw our little digital airplane halfway across the Arabian Sea (the sea on the west side of India) and the reality of what I am doing started to sink in--I was actually doing this: I left my job (a good job, where I was treated well, valued and good at what I did), packed away all the belongings in my room for a sublettor to come in and was going to be living in India for 2 months, without any plans (or even a hint of one) of what I would be doing afterwards.  The only thing I knew, and was focused on, was: go to Mysore to study with Sharath Jois for 2 months, but more on that later ;-)  Anyways, reality started setting in and I could feel myself starting to really get nervous, scared even, about whether or not I could actually live in another country for 2 months, even though I had already been to the country barely more than a year before.  But as soon as I got off the plane and walked into the airport, I was greeted by that wonderfully familiar smell of Indian spices in the heaviness of the damp India air and fear started to melt away.  It brought back all those wonderful memories of my first trip and reminded me of everything that I love about this country, and I knew I would be ok.  

...and then I went outside to find my driver among the dozens of drivers holding signs of the people they were picking up, and guess who's sign was missing.  Yep, mine.  I must have walked up and down the row of drivers for at least 20 minutes before finally accepting that my driver was not there, and that I was in a country where I did not speak the language and I did not have a cell phone, at 2-something in the morning, by myself.  Welcome back, fear.  What was I going to do?  Keep breathing for one, lol, and then nervously ask someone for help.  Fortunately I did remember to write down the number of the man that I booked the taxi through and an airport representative was kind enough to let me use his cell phone.  I reached him and he said that the driver was there and said that he would call the driver and tell him to go closer to the front so I could see him.  Relieved, I went back to the waiting in front of all the drivers.  I waited for what must have been another 20 minutes.  I walked the row again--maybe he was in the back and I could not see him?  Nope, he was not there.  One of the airport security guards approached me and said, "you have been waiting a long time!"  He directed me to a payphone that I could use and I, again called the man I booked the car with, who, again, said that the driver should be there.  After another 20 or so minutes, I called him again from another person's cell phone.  This time, he informed me that it turns out that the driver was indeed not there.  It turns out that he had gotten into a small fender-bender and was still sorting out details with the police, but had not informed anyone about what happened.  So, a new driver was on the way.  He apologized profusely and suggested that I wait by the Subway (yes, there are Subway restaurants in India, lol), get some coffee and "take rest, the driver is coming, everything will be fine."  I did not get coffee, but I felt much better and more relaxed knowing exactly what was happening and that it was being resolved.  It gave me time to sit and just take in my new environment, and smile a bit at all of the advertising and decorations here that make me smile, such as these little gems:

While "America runs on Dunkin," "India runs on Chai!"

Have no fear falling recyclables, your buddies await inside, ready to catch you! 

It also gave me time to look around and remember that I was not actually alone, there were other people there, foreigners and Indians as well--some there laughing and having food and chai with friends, some waiting for their drivers and drivers waiting for their customers, just like any other airport in the world.  It also reminded me of something from one of the movies that I watched on the plane ride over, After Earth.  The acting wasn't overly impressive and the story was predictable at times, but there were many parts that stayed with me, especially the point where Will Smith's character is talking to his son, trying to help him calm his panic and fear.  He had his son "take a knee" (so, stop moving) and ground himself in the present moment through his senses: sight, smells, sounds, touch.  That came to my mind--that once I finally stopped moving around, I was able to connect more with my surroundings and what was actually going on, and disconnect from the thoughts of fear in my head, and realize that I was going to be fine (which, ironically, is also what the yoga practice is attempting to teach you as well).

The new driver, Vinay, arrived shortly after 4:00 in the morning, a full 2 hours after my plane landed.  I was so happy to see him that if it wouldn't have been extremely inappropriate, I would have hugged him, lol.  He was very nice and I immediately felt safe with him.  We started on our drive to Mysore and Vinay weaved in and out of traffic and through narrow city streets with such expertise that it was like watching moving art.  Just like my first visit to India, I couldn't help but stare out the window for at least half of the ride, completely enchanted by the Indian city streets and landscape.  I so wanted to take pictures of everything that I saw, to share it with all of you, but, just like the first time, it felt like there was so much going on that I could not distinguish any one thing or scene to single out for a picture that could fully represent what I was seeing.  Not to mention we were moving far too fast!  The drive from Bangalore to Mysore usually takes about 4 hours--Vinay got me there in about 3.  

To say that I was running on fumes by the time I arrived to my friend's place would be an understatement.  I crashed for about 2 or 3 hours before joining her for breakfast and then getting a tour of some of the area and important local spots--such as where the KPJAYI shala is at, where to change money, where good places to shop and eat are at.  She would show me how to get to a place and then have me direct our way back, to make sure that I remembered it.  It is difficult to say exactly how I felt about my first day here in Mysore, other than general feelings of being off-balance and over-stimulated.  Though I guess it must not have seemed that way to everyone, because when I met with the person who arranged my taxi from the airport, aside from sincerely apologizing again, he thanked me for handling it so calmly!  

It has been an extremely long and interesting re-introduction to India, and I am ready for some real and (hopefully) uninterrupted sleep.  Tomorrow, I will go to the shala to finally meet with Sharath and register for practice.  I will see how my body is feeling as to whether or not I want to do a self-practice when I wake up, but I am definitely eager to get back to my yoga asana practice--it has been the thing that best completely grounds and centers me, so I have really been missing it through all of this travel.  So, until next time, I leave you with a picture of one of the things I was most eager to see upon my return to India :-)

Hello again, sweet cows :-)